


Honorary Grump

by gandalfthesassy



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gandalfthesassy/pseuds/gandalfthesassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaming YouTuber!reader collaborates with the Game Grumps (actually, just Danny) and sparks and dick jokes fly. Reader should hopefully be written gender-neutral. The few times Danny addresses you by name are indicated with y/n, meaning your name should be inserted there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honorary Grump

"Fuck this game!"

Danny Avidan laughed at your over-the-top reaction to getting hit by a red shell and falling into 5th place.

"Dude, you could be worse. You could be Arin."

"Yeah, but Arin has at least played Mario Kart 8," you reminded Game Grumps viewers, with a glance at the microphone that was recording your guys' audio for your very first collab with the Grumps. "I only play horror games, which you can't because last time you did that, you screamed like a girl."

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with screaming like a girl--WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?" he cried as you bumped him off the rainbow track into the darkness of space. Even though he was pulled back onto the track almost immediately, Yoshi fell into 4th place while you sped into 2nd.

"No mercy. This is fucking Rainbow Road, dude. Actually, you're right, I could be worse, I could be you."

"I'm not in last, alright?" Danny pulled up behind you in his kart.

"You're about to be," you grinned as your character pulled out a green shell and shot it backwards. He had no time to react, instead losing three coins and tumbling to the side. You were now in first, back to being the champion of Mario Kart that you were as a kid and were now reclaiming.

"Yeah, still not in last," he rolled his eyes. You shot your hand out and tickled his side. He made a sort of startled squeak and fumbled with his controller before regaining composure. "The fuck was that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You tickled me!"

"No I didn't. I poked you."

"That was not. That was a full-on tickle, (y/n)."

"I would've gone off course if it was, but it was too fast."

"So you admit that you touched me."

"Are you admitting that you are ticklish? Ladies..."

"You are such an asshole!"

"I know! But I'm an asshole who's in first place," you declared as you pulled ahead.

"While I'm stuck back here--"

"You're in fucking fourth place, don't be so melodramatic!"

"If I could finish, I feel like I need to bring up the first time I played as Yoshi." Dan went on about when he was some age you couldn't remember and how he completely sucked but still had a lot of fun. You interjected a couple of times with reactions or short anecdotes about how you were the same way, but you were better than him because you had your own fairly successful gaming channel after only two years of existing on YouTube.

"But anyway, that's why I usually pick Yoshi, because I like get him, you know?"

"I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen," you rapped a lyric from Luigi's Ballad. "Why the fuck was that a lyric? I don't understand."

"Yeah, Arin came up with that. I don't know. Barry, edit in that screencap of Mario on Yoshi from that music video," Dan made a verbal note for the editor of the Grumps' videos and occasional participant. "Yeah, that's it. Now put my face as Mario and (y/n) as Yoshi." He paused again, pretending to see it happen before his eyes. 

"Oh my god, why did you make him do that?"

"Barry does whatever we tell him, it's okay."

"It's still weird! Ew, I'm just imagining it, holy shit." Dan started laughing. 

"Mario, you always do this shit, I like a girl and then you RUIN IT!" he began to sing but transitioned into shouting partway through. 

"Does that happen often, that you like a girl and then you play Mario or something and it ruined your relationship with her?" 

"That implies that I am only pursuing Princess Peach, and that Mario is my main competition, and I reject both." 

"Luigi's pretty hot, though. I mean, Peach is okay, but Luigi can seriously get it. Hence why I am playing as him."

"You're fucking weird." You laughed. 

"Nah, I'm fucking Luigi," you responded, causing Dan to launch into a fit of laughter that made him cry. 

"Christ, you're so messed up." 

"Dan, I have a question."

He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, a little concerned. "Okay." 

"Do you ever, like, tell your dates that you're the guy from Ninja Sex Party? Is that how you get them into bed with you?"

"That implies that I've ever gone on dates."

You glanced at him in surprise. "Wait, have you not? I was assuming a moderately attractive guy like yourself would go on at least a few."

"Moderately? I'm so offended right now," he gasped in fake shock.

"I say moderately because of your fucking Jewfro." His face made you finish your statement with uproarious laughter. 

"Okay, do not mock the jewfro, okay? I look great with long hair."

"That is true, you do look great with long--FUCKING TOADETTE I'M GONNA SHOOT YOUR ASS!" you shrieked through your laughter as you got hit with a surprise red shell.

Danny zoomed past you, unable to stop himself from joining in the laughter. "No more shit about how I suck, okay?"

You wiped your eye with your sleeve, not moving your hands from your controller. "I never said that you suck, okay? I just said that I'm better than you, and therefore you are inferior, so compared to me you suck. But in reality you don't actually suck."

"What kind of sucking are you referring to?"

A moment of silence passed between you before you snickered. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"You are doing really well," he remarked, changing the subject.

"Okay, question. You're Jewish, right?" 

"Yeah."

"So you like got your dick cut off."

"No, I didn't--" You started laughing. "Shut the fuck up, I didn't get it cut off. I got circumcised."

"Doesn't that hurt, though?" 

"Something something nerve endings something something sex feels less fun, I dunno. It's just a thing."

"The most I know about that is what little I've absorbed from Mel Brooks films."

"Dude, Blazing Saddles."

"Blazing Saddles!" 

"You've seen Blazing Saddles?"

"Are you kidding? It's in my top favorite movies, right up with Ghostbusters and like, Pulp Fiction." 

"Holy shit, you're awesome." Was he blushing? His cheeks had flushed, but you'd assumed that was just because you were getting really into the game.

"At the game, right? Because I'm kind of a shitty person in real life." You tried to help him, since he seemed like he talked himself into a corner and couldn't really get out. 

"Yeah! Yeah, at the game." His face was still red. You kinda felt bad, so you decided to distract him and the audience. 

"You're damn right I'm good at this shit. I trained under the great master Miyamoto, beginning with the basic Super Mario Brothers and working my way up the ranks, until I got to Mario Kart and then I realized that I suck at Nintendo in general and just stuck to horror games." Danny laughed, despite your belief that you weren't that funny.

"Did he fucking teach you how to jump like Mario or some shit?"

"He taught me how to paint the fence," you referenced Karate Kid and did a ninja move after crossing the finish line in 2nd place. "Catch the fly with the chopsticks!"

You continued to flail, distracting Danny for long enough that he fell into fifth. "Goddamnit, why did I watch you do that?"

"Do what? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't act like you didn't do shit, you just went all ninja warrior on me and made me lose."

"Like Ninja Brian?"

"Nah, Ninja Brian's cooler."

"Excuse me?" you raised an eyebrow. "Are you insinuating that I am inferior to Ninja Brian?"

"I may be," he smirked.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you fucking kicked my ass."

"You're damn right, because I picked this cup because I'm the friend that picks Rainbow Road, okay?!" you suddenly began to yell a la Arin. "I am the one who knocks!"

"I am a little terrified of you right now," Danny admitted, looking at you. 

"You should be. I just beat your ass at versus, and I'm not even a Grump." You pressed 'next' and skipped some cutscenes to show that you had earned the big trophy for first place overall, while Dan had managed to pull into third overall.

"If you play with us enough, you could be like an honorary Grump."

"Speaking of Grump, NEXT TIME ON GAME GRUMPS! Oh man, I love that show," you transitioned into the episode outro.

"Me too, that one guest they had on was way more attractive than Arin," he joked.

You played along, a little flattered even if he wasn't serious. "I don't know, I'm kinda into that one guy with the jewfro or whatever, what's his name? David, Denny, Dean, Dixon...?"

"Dan?"

"Dan, that's it, he's pretty cool. Though he's kind of an asshole."

"I don't know, dude. I think he's just trying to entertain people."

"Still an asshole," you realized you were staring him down and tore your eyes away. _Be nice_ , you chided yourself.

"Alright! I'm not gonna take this abuse from you," he laughed it off anyway and stopped the capture. He got up and went to grab his bowl of Skittles.

"You really think I'm attractive?" you asked over the back of the couch as Dan returned.

"Yeah," he agreed like it was no big deal and set the bowl on his side that wasn't closest to you.

"You're the first guy to admit that without secretly wanting to get into my pants."

"And you assume that I don't?"

You furrowed your brow suspiciously. "Do you?"

"Nah. I respect you too much for something so nasty."

"It's fun when you get with the right person."

"You know what I like?"

"Beating people at games when you normally suck?" you guessed.

"Nope. I like you."

Your heart thumped as you searched him for any signs of sarcasm. You found none. "You like me?"

"Yeah." Again, he said it like it was no big deal, but it was. You weren't gonna lie, Danny was the closest thing to your dream guy that existed."Why are you so surprised?" What were you gonna tell him, that he was everything you'd wished for in a potential friend or whatever the future held for the two of you? _Nah, don't get carried away. There's no way that'd happen._

"Because I didn't think you'd like me back."

Dan broke into a goofy grin and turned his whole body to face you after grabbing a handful of Skittles and popping them in his mouth. "You know, I've been following you on YouTube for a year or so. Ever since you hit 100,000 subscribers."

"Really?"

He talked through the food in his mouth. "Arin was kind of hesitant when I asked if you could guest star. He asked if you could maybe be on Table Flip, but I knew you were more a video game person, so when he and Suzy decided to take a vacation in the middle of us filming, I figured you'd be perfect. You're way better at games than any of us, except maybe Ross." He finally finished chewing and swallowed. "Ross is pretty good." You chuckled and nodded.

"Is that when you were first attracted to me? When you found me online?"

"Honestly, it wasn't until like, right now," he scooted closer to you. You did the same. "You know how they say that like people are hotter in person than online?"

"I seem to have the opposite problem," you replied. "I see people post pics of themselves online and then in real life turn out to be really lame."

"Am I one of those people?" he put a hand underneath his head and leaned against the back of the couch.

"No. You look way hotter right in front of me."

"Even though I'm stuffing my face with Skittles?"

"Especially because you're stuffing your face with Skittles."

"Is that a thing you're into? Because I like eating, and I'll definitely keep doing it, if you want, that is."

A witty comment balanced on the tip of your tongue but your eyes flickering to his lips revealed how close your faces were.

"(y/n)," Danny said softly, smiling as if in a trance. Your hand floated up to his face and you cupped his cheek, reminding yourself that _this is a thing that's happening, you're sitting directly in front of one of your idols and he's into you. Holy shit. Don't fuck this up._ Danny's eyes fluttered closed, as did yours and you leaned forward. 

The sound of the front door opening opened your eyes immediately. You leapt back about a foot and you tried to look natural as you glanced over the back of the couch and saw Barry come in with two bags of groceries. "Hey, (y/n), hey Danny," he greeted with a wave. "How's Mario Kart 8?"

"(y/n) royally kicked my ass," Danny shot a sly smile at you. 

"Well, maybe we should have you on more often," Barry suggested with a nod at you and disappeared into the kitchen. You turned to Danny, who looked like a cross between embarrassed and frustrated. 

You leaned forward and silently kissed his lips. You drew back almost immediately and smiled shyly. "Should we do another episode?" 

"Alright. But this time, no Jew jokes." 

"Can I get one out of the way?" He glared at you but gave a gesture as if to say, 'Go on'. He restarted the capture and you launched into your YouTube personality. "Alright, Dan. How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?" 

"How many?"

"None. They just hire someone to do it for them." 

"That was so bad, what the fuck, dude?" he laughed anyway. 

"Hey, if that was offensive, I'll never tell it again."

"I'm pretty sure half the jokes we tell on Game Grumps are bad enough, you'll just add to them."

"I should know better," you shook your head.

"I forgive you." 

"Welcome back to Game Grumps, where I royally kicked Dan's ass. (Y/N) WINS!" you cried. 

"Barry is not going to edit that shit in." You glanced over your shoulder and saw Barry peek his head around the corner and grin at you, mouthing, 'I'll put it in'. You gave him a thumbs up and went back to the game, sitting a little closer to Dan than you were before. 

**Author's Note:**

> Written because there's a serious lack of Danny/reader fics on here. And I wanted to read some. So I wrote some. I don't know whether to be ashamed or proud that I actually made it through this. yay?


End file.
